Failures as the stepping stones to success
Patience
January 28, 2017
You Need a Time Out!
March 22, 2017
The most difficult time period in my life was my seven year journey to publish my first book, God Is My CEO. With each rejection came an awful feeling of being a “failure”. The mind plays nasty tricks on our psyche when failure knocks on our door. Our tendency is to avoid failure like the plague. Our brain goes into damage control with all kinds of rationalizations…”Cut your losses!”, “Quit trying!”, and the all popular, “What was I thinking? I cant do this!” As I look back on my life, I have found my most difficult failures were the very stepping stones that lead to my success and significance in life. My 19th publisher rejection became the stepping stone that lead to the 20th publisher offering me a contract to write God Is My CEO. That opportunity changed my life completely. More importantly, failure taught me three powerful lessons that allowed me to embrace failure with an entirely different mindset.
- Failure humbles us. Humility is an essential trait because it makes us teachable. It allows the things we typically run from (like pain and difficulty) to become our teachers. Humility gives us the opportunity to roll up the shades of fear, ego and pride to see the light of truth as a means to learn and grow in difficult times. Humbly confronting the truth of a matter, even if painful, is so much better than rationalizing.
- Failure gives us empathy to better understand others. Humility and empathy create a pathway to connect and support others in a deeper way. Because we understand what it feels like to fail, we gain a better understanding and empathy of how someone feels in difficult times. This empathy allows people who are in “defend and protect” mode to open up to you. In essence, being transparent with your past failures and showing empathy to others makes you a better leader. There is no better leader than one who is humble, transparent, and cares for others.
- Failure builds strong leaders of character. The greatest leaders we admire most had their leadership shaped by failure, pain and difficulties. Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King played pivotal roles in history. Failure prepared them for these meaningful moments in time.
Nelson Mandela once said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” No one wants to fail but when you do, seize the opportunity to learn, grow and rise above your circumstances.
If you would like to learn more about overcoming difficulty and failure please come to a free breakfast seminar introducing my latest book co-authored with Jay Coughlan, Former CEO of Lawson Software, Five Bold Choices: Rise Above Your Circumstances and Redefine Your Life. This seminar is from 7:00-9:00am on Wednesday, February 22, 2017 at the Golden Valley Country Club in Golden Valley, MN. You can register here:
2 Comments
Dear Julian
Thank you for such encouragement and motivation. I live in South Africa and a friend of mine a few years ago told me about your book God is my CEO. I searched for the book and found a copy and it is now a book that sits on my desk. I was unable to get the one God is my coach. Unfortunately as much as I wish to attend your seminars and meet you in person it is impossible for now.
I know that you coach many huge corporate executives that have been extremely successful. I am simply a little woman that worked as an international steel trader and travelled internationally extensively whilst employed by the corporate world. Almost 5 years ago I was retrenched and decided to open my own little trading business. I faced many challenges in terms of credit facility and insurance etc. but survived on the cash in advance deals. I was soon selected to participate in the Goldman Sachs 10,000 women program which compelled us to attend Business studies on a full time basis for a year. A mini MBA course cramped in a year did not allow my business any space and the business soon died as my clients were export clients and not local. Since then I have been battling to revive this business. My financial status is in a mess.
I tried and am still looking for business opportunities and it just seems impossible for me. I tried to look into the possibility of re-commissioning a saw mill that existed for almost 30 years but was shut down. The last two years have been hell with the state entity to supply me raw material on a five year guarantee to ensure funding from state funders and am still battling with this matter which is now being looked at by our highest authority in Parliament and I am hoping our Government can influence the decision.
In the meantime I am at my lowest with no income for almost two years that I have in the meantime tried to place myself back in the Job Market but my age is now going against me and over experience also seems to be a problem. As a woman from the disadvantaged group in SA the possibilty of finding a business in need of a BBBEEE partner can be looked at which can also offer being a member of a board. I have no idea of what and how to meet expectations of board members in the corporate world or what the true functions are. Do you train people to be active participants of corporate boards. Do you perhaps know of any company that will be willing to have me shadow with a board member on a volunteer basis just to have hands on training.
Getting up from failure is extremely difficult on your own. I would be most grateful for whatever help you can assist me.
Kind Regards
Mavis Royeppen
Dear Mavis,
I’m sorry it has taken so long to respond to your comments. I’m new to posting blogs and have been remiss in checking responses. I do not train people to be active participants of corporate boards nor do I know of any companies but I will keep my eyes open to anyone who responds from South Africa. In the meantime, I will pray that you find the employment you seek. You comments tell me you are a women of character who has much to offer this world. I know how disheartening a job search can be. I’m often comforted by Psalm 34:17-19 “The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them, he delivers them from all their troubles, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” My prayers are with you. Sincerely, Larry Julian